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The MASH "First Home" Song

(Sung for the first hasher to return)

Give _________ a beer, a really big beer!
We will watch him drink it down.
He came first and he thinks he's grand!
Now, we'll see if he can stand!!

Ohhhh, the story's sad to tell.
Competition will never do you well.
All that running has made him smell!
Which is why we don't feel well!

(Followed by a down-down count of 5 or 10,
based on the techniques used to be first home!)

On! On!